Given the Leafs current problem with inconsistent play from period to period, I have compiled a short list of tools and methods for Ron Wilson to try so he can get the most out of each and every player.
1. Nailgun – Every time a player coughs up the puck, gives up on pursuit or drops their check Wilson gets to fire one through their sweater and nail them to the pine.
2. Bring up Finger – Place him on the bench (with or without nail) and warn everyone that subpar play will result in Finger getting ice time.
3. Pink Tutu – Every time a player refuses to fight for the puck or finish a check they are required to take their next shift in the ‘Tutu of Shame.’
4. P-mac Time out – Anyone who makes a monstrous mistake spends the next 10 minutes between the benches with Pierre McGuire.
5. Baseball bat – Great for inspiring a group of men after inspirational speeches about enthusiasms and teamwork.
6. Meat Hook – Perfect for ensuring goalies stop all weak shots, thus avoiding “the hook.”
7. T-lusty – Short for Text Lustily, staff will ensure all underachieving prospects have unfortunate photographs decisions made public.
8. Capital punishment – For the most heinous of on ice ineptitude, send a player to waste away in the worst hockey city in Canada, Ottawa, to play out the remainder of his contract.
If you think of any more be sure include them below as I am sure the Leafs will thank everyone in the long run.