Quarterly review 1/4

–          Ovechkin, in order to avoid the embarrassment of being selected last in the draft, adopted the strategy of not being picked for the All-Star Game in the first place.

–          Scott Gomez, feeling underpaid last season, has lowered his production to ensure he gets $1 million per point instead of per goal.

–          In an attempt to lure football fans into hockey arenas the Flyers and Lightening tested out a new strategy that works for the NFL. Called the “Sleeper tactic” you stop play every 30 seconds, stand in a line and try to start before the whistle blows.

–          After many of years employing a coaching-by-committee approach the Senators have decided to break with tradition and have retained a coach for consecutive months.

–          While the men are once again being separated from the boys, the line is much more clear thanks to Movember.

–          Fearing his job may be in jeopardy Bruce Boudreau is attempting something not seen during his tenure in Washington: Coaching

–          In a desperate attempt to get scoring out of a talent starved lineup Crosby, Malkin and Staal are placed on the same line by coach Dan Bylsma against a powerhouse Ottawa team.

–          Most teams relying on former Maple Leafs players are fighting for one thing Toronto never achieved, a first overall draft pick.

–          Leading the league in goals scored for two months has exhausted all creative headlines involving with Phil Kessel’s name.

–          Crosby’s return to the NHL creates heightened stress in TSN and Sportsnet’s studios as they now need to think of new topics to discuss to fill half of every program.

–          In preparation for a seasonal Broadway show the castoffs from the Island of Misfit Toys have taken their magic to Dallas.

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3 Responses to Quarterly review 1/4

  1. MaxTheLimit says:

    I wouldn’t worry about TSN coming up with news stories. You can have Dave Hodge rant about how fighting, hitting, helmets without visors and slippery ice are too dangerous and should be taken out of hockey. Filatov got hit in the face with a skate last night, so I’m assuming we’ll be hearing about how this will give life to the debate about forcing players to play without those dangerous skates!

    • Don’t forget about them deadly sticks, they cause plenty of injuries and that super hard puck with edges. I think it would become a sport played on grass, with shoes, using feet, no hands allowed and a nice soft, edgeless ball in Hodge’s perfect world.

      • MaxTheLimit says:

        Yeah right, then the players would want to wear some dangerous spikes on the bottom of their shoes for traction. Also, people can kick really hard! Cleats and dangerous ball velocity doesn’t have any place in hockey. They would need to bring it indoor to a smooth surface where they won’t need cleats. To protect the players the can’t use their feet. They’ll have to lob the ball safely high in the air. Maybe through some sort of hoop high above the players head where there is no danger. That sounds like a game of hockey that the media can enjoy!

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