With Ron Wilson getting his much thought about/debated/speculated contract extension for Christmas I decided to spend a few weeks window shopping outside player homes to see just what they all received during the holiday season.
Colby Armstrong – In light of his ever increasing brittle nature he was given his own cow to ensure he drinks as much milk as he can. As I peeked into the basement window I spotted what I assume to be a backup gift, a giant, half wrapped metal machine with Iron Lung written on the side.
Sydney Crosby – The complete “Life and Times of Paul Kariya”, with special features including a Scott Stevens “replica.”
Alexander Ovechkin – At the very back of the tree there was a small gift, wrapped in Anaheim Ducks ticket stubs and a card that read “I get the last Getzlaf.” Inside was a joke book containing 100’s of different Ovechkin All-Star Game related jokes pulled from just about every blog and editorial around the hockey world.
Mike Ziggomanis – Finally received the actual self-portraits he took so he could finally prove once and for all those old pictures were doctored.
Mike Fisher – Adorning the walls in just about every room of the house were truly stunning, heartfelt Christmas cards addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Underwood.
Brendan Shanahan – A mint condition Colin Campbell “Do it yourself Supplementary Discipline Kit” which includes the fabled magic eight ball, roulette wheel and suspension abacus with only 3 sliding beads. Hate mail sold separately.
Dion Phaneuf – Elisha Cuthbert.
Erik Karlsson – A list of suggested reading from head Coach Paul Maclean, the following topping the list:
The latter of course being on back order thanks to the entire Pittsburgh Penguins roster preparing for the playoffs.
Unfortunately those are all the windows I was able to get close enough too without setting off the alarms, check in next week for a breakdown of the average police response time compared to overall league star power. *spoiler* Colton Orr does his own responding.